I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
