Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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