yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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