Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
