once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
