my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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