Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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