Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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