So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
