i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
