I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
