What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize