are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
