Don't you send me to vm
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
