But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is the high leading the old right now
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
