So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
