So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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