i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
