You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
