Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
