Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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