Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
they need to just BURY HIM!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
