grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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