and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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