My room smells like vodka and shame
I looked at my own cervix.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
