She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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