I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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