My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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