Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
