It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
