He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
