How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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