I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
