Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
