I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
