My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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