Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
