You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
