this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
