Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
