I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
