i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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