just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
high people should be assigned attendants
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
