I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize