she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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