If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
