I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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