Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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