I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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