he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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