You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
