Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
