Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
