I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
