my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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