My cat gives me a boner
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
