Pappa wants mamma naked
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
