3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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