On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
