You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
