this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
