you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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