Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
