weddingsv make me drug and hornr
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
