that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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