And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
